01-16-2019 Roger Castillo – can you accept yourself as you are?

  • Holger 

 

Transcript

00:00
you can change
00:14
(Music)
00:39
the spiritual transformation search is
00:44
really a search towards a silence
00:50
quietening of a certain part of the mind
00:57
and so in satsang I could say a few
01:00
things here and there and leave us
01:03
sitting in silence not an awkward
01:07
silence but a very comfortable inner
01:11
silence it’s just about a matter of
01:16
directing attention away from certain
01:22
objects and naturally we can rest in our
01:28
own beam as many of you know I don’t do
01:36
that I talk a lot not because I don’t
01:45
think it’s about silence but because of
01:48
the fact that life has designed us and
01:53
conditioned us to not be in silence
02:01
and in order for that capacity to come
02:08
into our life we need to receive
02:14
information an information which ends up
02:19
cutting off the thinking sort of like an
02:24
anti-virus and once that has happened
02:27
regularly enough and become in a new way
02:32
setting then that part of the mind the
02:36
the part that has cut off the suffering
02:39
thinking can also rest
02:45
and so what I hope is that in the
02:46
satsanghs we end up leaving with
02:49
something leaving with new conditioning
02:54
that becomes helpful at working on its
02:59
own and bringing in more silence so at
03:06
any point in the satsang if you find
03:09
that your head is starting to hurt
03:12
because we’re let’s say trying to listen
03:16
too hard and feel like we have a job to
03:19
do then feel free to just drop out of
03:24
listening too hard we don’t need to get
03:31
it in the way that we’re so prone to
03:35
wanting to get things so to the extent
03:40
that you close your eyes and move
03:45
inwards that’s not a problem what needs
03:50
to be absorbed will be absorbed so the
03:58
framework that’s put forward is
04:01
considered it’s not random and what we
04:07
talk about here is a very specific
04:09
subject it’s happiness and daily living
04:13
for the human being which happens to
04:16
equate with liberation or enlightenment
04:19
enlightenment is the end of suffering
04:23
and it turns out that happiness for the
04:25
human being is not happiness through
04:29
outcomes so our idea of happiness when
04:32
we hear happiness we sort of think of
04:34
pleasurable and good feelings and that’s
04:38
the problem is that humans have been
04:40
conditioned to seek happiness out there
04:43
in circumstance in pleasure pleasure
04:45
pleasure pleasure
04:47
the happiness that’s available to humans
04:50
isn’t that sort of happiness it’s
04:51
happiness through peace of mind and
04:54
peace of mind is the end of suffering
04:57
peace of mind isn’t the addition of
04:59
something it’s not something we gain
05:02
it’s what’s there when suffering falls
05:04
away and that’s what we’re really
05:15
seeking whether we realize it or not
05:16
intuitively our system understands that
05:21
suffering is not natural to us it’s
05:25
something that’s been added on and so
05:31
there’s a movement away from suffering
05:33
suffering is an uncomfortableness with
05:34
oneself and uncomfortableness with the
05:38
other and our true nature as human
05:44
beings the core of the human being which
05:47
is obviously there all the time because
05:50
it’s the core of the human being is
05:53
something that’s at peace with itself at
05:56
peace with life even when circumstance
06:00
is painful for the very simple reason
06:04
that the core of the human being isn’t
06:06
affected by circumstance so sure in
06:10
circumstance we might lose a toe or be
06:13
sick people around us that we love may
06:18
die and that’s going to be sad it’s
06:22
going to be inconvenient not just I’m
06:25
talking about losing a toe in that case
06:26
sad if someone we love dies um it’s
06:30
going to be physically painful
06:32
potentially depending on the
06:34
circumstance and yet at any point in
06:37
time when this is happening
06:38
if you’re lying in a hospital bed if the
06:42
capacity to turn inwards and rest in
06:45
your own being is there we find it
06:48
hasn’t changed from the time I dropped
06:52
into my being when I wasn’t in a
06:53
hospital bed all the time I dropped into
06:57
being when someone that I cared about
06:59
was in my life and now they’re not in my
07:02
life and when we drop into the core we
07:06
find it doesn’t change
07:14
so this is why happiness for the human
07:19
being is available in this life because
07:21
of what our core happens to be if this
07:26
was a different life and we were
07:28
constructed differently humans were
07:30
different and the core of the human was
07:33
different than happiness may well not be
07:35
available but it is and a part of the
07:39
human being has developed such that it
07:42
covers up that core and that’s what we
07:48
can call the thinking mind the thinking
07:51
mind has been grown in a sense developed
07:55
put in place by life it’s part of our
07:58
evolutionary development as humans that
08:02
it seems by default the thinking mind
08:05
gets put in place and the thinking mind
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is based on false ideas false beliefs of
08:12
what the human being is and at the core
08:18
of the thinking mind at to base errors
08:21
one is what we can call the false belief
08:25
in personal doership and the second is
08:29
the false belief that my completeness is
08:31
to be found in outcomes that essentially
08:35
means that I know myself as as as that
08:43
an entity that is the doer of everything
08:46
that happens through me in life and an
08:50
entity that requires x y&z; in the future
08:53
in order to be complete so that is a
08:58
mental self image that is quite out of
09:02
line with what the human being really is
09:07
it is what we could say it becomes our
09:11
attitude to life based on a false idea
09:15
of who we are that life put in place
09:20
so if we know our self in a way that is
09:29
out of line with what we are it makes
09:31
sense that we’re going to feel
09:32
uncomfortable sort of like trying to put
09:35
a three fingered glove on your hand it’s
09:40
not gonna fit right and if that’s
09:44
self-image what ramen are referred to as
09:47
the self with a small s that self-image
09:51
falls away what is revealed is what’s
09:54
actually there what the human being
09:57
really is and brahmana’s main teaching
10:02
is about asking Who am I
10:13
and he talks about the self with a
10:17
capital S that which we come to know we
10:20
can know intimately it’s what we are the
10:27
self is what I refer to as the core of
10:30
the human being our consciousness or the
10:36
consciousness functioning through this
10:38
this human instrument
10:47
and so given that life has put in place
10:50
this false set of beliefs the belief of
10:55
personal doership and attachment to
10:56
outcome it’s not really up to us to get
11:02
rid of it in fact we find that we’re not
11:06
capable of getting rid of it just like
11:08
we weren’t capable of putting it in
11:10
place it’s a result of a process a
11:13
process of life delivering new
11:17
conditioning in each moment and as a
11:20
result that the new conditioning that
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life delivers in each moment our
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up-to-date-conditioning gets formed so
11:28
our up-to-date-conditioning is a
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cumulative effect of all the new
11:32
conditioning that life is delivered
11:34
moment after moment after moment after
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moment so this started at the point of
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conception at conception the sperm and
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the egg come together and form an
11:46
organism that starts growing and it
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grows according to the genetic
11:51
intelligence in that organism so we
11:53
obviously don’t do the growing and that
12:00
organism grows and grows and it’s still
12:03
growing and it’s always been growing and
12:06
we haven’t dictated or orchestrated what
12:12
we grow into that should be very clear
12:16
and some at some point the heart starts
12:18
pumping and at some point the brain is
12:21
developed enough to start functioning
12:24
arms and legs and toes and hair and eyes
12:27
all develop it’s quite mysterious and
12:31
magical and amazing that life has within
12:37
it an intelligence to develop something
12:41
as intricate and amazing as the human
12:44
being let alone the rest of the universe
12:47
that all interconnects we’re really
12:50
interested in happiness for the human
12:53
being in this life so let’s keep the
12:55
investigation to what’s relevant for
12:57
happiness for the human being and so the
13:00
sex
13:01
nation that we come into existence as a
13:04
result of the sperm and the egg meeting
13:06
and then growing and that’s what we can
13:09
call the genetic structure that I’d
13:11
clearly wasn’t in control of I was a
13:13
result of that I am a result of that
13:16
growth and at the same time as the
13:19
growing there is life continually
13:22
impacting that so in the in the womb
13:25
there’s you know all the fluids and
13:29
interactions that happen that’s a form
13:31
of conditioning and if the baby hears
13:35
music from outside that’s a form of
13:38
conditioning everything that happens in
13:41
each moment is a form of conditioning at
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the point when the baby is born we start
13:46
getting conditioned on an intellectual
13:49
level we start picking up the rules of
13:54
society once we get to a certain age
13:57
we’re conditioned according to the
14:00
location the family that we’re born into
14:04
and we’re not in control of what that
14:06
conditioning is and so at any moment the
14:10
human being is a very complex biological
14:14
instrument that we can say as a result
14:16
of genes and up-to-date-conditioning and
14:18
it functions according to its design in
14:23
each moment it functions exactly the way
14:26
it is designed like a calculator can
14:29
only function according to its design
14:31
and the human being is much more complex
14:35
than a calculator but in principle it’s
14:38
an instrument so our thoughts are a
14:43
result of the programming of that
14:46
instrument and the design of the
14:47
instrument the actions that happen
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through us the words that happen through
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us the feelings are all outputs of an
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instrument an instrument that is not
15:01
separate from life never insulated from
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life has spawned from life like
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everything else
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that emerges out of life it’s all one
15:17
with life why is this important it’s
15:22
important because when we look at human
15:25
happiness which is what we’re really
15:27
looking for we find that human happiness
15:30
is just the absence of suffering the
15:38
falling way of suffering and when we
15:41
look at what human suffering is in
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practical terms we find that it’s guilt
15:46
blame pride worry and anxiety
15:50
expectation and attachment to outcomes
15:53
and all of those are psychological
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movements of the human being if we look
16:01
at them they’re all attitudinal to life
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as opposed to circumstantial meaning
16:09
guilt blame and pride psychological
16:14
movements of mind that are looking at
16:17
what has happened and relating to it
16:21
attitudinally in a certain way so we
16:25
blame the other for they did what they
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did was part of the circumstance the
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blaming is as it – denial it’s based on
16:34
how we see that action and so the guilt
16:42
blame and pride which is the first half
16:44
of the suffering is all based on the
16:47
deeply ingrained belief that I am a
16:50
separate independent doer entity that
16:57
has complete volition over everything
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that happens through me
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and on that basis if someone hurts me I
17:11
have to see them that way as a separate
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independent entity that has complete
17:15
volition and therefore they chose of
17:17
their volition to hurt me they could
17:21
have they should have done differently
17:23
is what my attitude would be if I see
17:26
them that way and therefore if someone
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hurts me I have to hate them that’s
17:33
blame and under blame there’s all sorts
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of different forms of blame in its most
17:38
intense form resentment and hatred that
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can lead us to despise and want to kill
17:45
people there’s jealousy and the blame
17:52
and guilt is based on the same principle
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the principle that I am the separate
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independent entity this doer and control
18:03
of everything that happens through me
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and so when life unfolds through me in a
18:08
particular way especially such that it
18:10
is painful to myself or to the other out
18:13
of line with our preferences then we
18:17
automatically have to feel guilt and
18:19
shame I wasn’t good enough I didn’t
18:23
perform well enough
18:29
and so if we are the doers if we are
18:34
separate independent entities with
18:37
complete volition then this attitude to
18:40
what happens in life is accurate and if
18:42
that’s the case we need to basically
18:45
accept that the end of suffering is not
18:48
available it turns out that when we
18:53
investigate we find that we’re not as in
18:57
control of what happens as we might
19:00
originally think and the explanation is
19:03
as simple as I’ve put forward is that in
19:05
each moment the human being functions
19:07
according to its design it can’t
19:11
function differently are looking back
19:15
and saying I should have done this you
19:17
should have done that is based on a
19:20
misunderstanding of how the actual
19:23
dynamic works how the human functioning
19:26
works if we do come to see that we
19:28
really are complex instruments then
19:36
wanting ourselves to have acted
19:39
differently thinking we could have acted
19:41
differently is as ridiculous as
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expecting the dishwasher to produce a
19:45
piece of toast it’s just not designed to
19:49
do it and we understand that so we don’t
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so get upset when the dishwasher doesn’t
19:54
prepare our breakfast now we can’t know
20:03
how we are designed we just are in a
20:06
particular moment and our design is
20:07
always changing as life is always
20:09
delivering new conditioning and that new
20:12
conditioning is always affecting our
20:15
up-to-date-conditioning so we know that
20:20
whatever I output is a result of this
20:24
very complex set of genes and
20:26
up-to-date-conditioning but what is
20:29
going to be our output we don’t know
20:31
until it happens
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so Nyssa Gurdas I was asked one probably
20:36
many times what will you do in this
20:37
situation he said I don’t know
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it’s a recognition of the fact that we
20:48
can’t know we can look at our tendencies
20:52
which is what we’ve tended to do in
20:55
certain situations but that’s no
20:57
guarantee that that’s what we will do in
20:59
a situation in the future because we may
21:01
not be the same or anywhere near the
21:05
same as we were five minutes before so
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anyway if we come to see that we are not
21:18
the doers
21:20
at first intellectually understanding
21:24
that concept and then over a period of
21:26
time investigating for ourself seeing
21:31
whether the concept makes sense as that
21:35
understanding goes deeper and deeper the
21:37
thinking mind the suffering that was
21:40
based on the idea I am the doer starts
21:44
to be challenged and eventually that
21:50
root dissolves but until the working
21:57
mind receives new conditioning that
22:00
describes this it’s quite clear looking
22:04
at how humanity develops that this is
22:07
not apparent to us because what has been
22:11
put in place is the belief I am a
22:13
separate independent entity in control
22:16
of what happens in life in control in
22:19
control of what I say and what I do and
22:21
how I act and how I feel and that
22:25
remains in place even with a whole
22:28
lifetime of experience that when
22:31
investigated we find what I will not in
22:33
control I can’t get rid of certain
22:35
feelings that I have at will I can’t
22:39
control outcomes
22:40
[Music] 22:55
and so life bringing in this new
22:58
conditioning that essentially describes
23:02
life differently to how we see it on the
23:06
surface is part of the process of life
23:11
undoing the hypnosis or the error that
23:15
life has put in place so we didn’t put
23:19
the false belief of personal doership an
23:22
attachment to outcome in place and we
23:24
don’t undo it life under none does it by
23:27
bringing in this new conditioning an
23:34
attachment to outcome which is the other
23:37
form or the other ingrained belief that
23:41
becomes part of our attitude to life
23:44
means that we see ourselves as something
23:47
that requires life to look a certain way
23:50
in order for us to be happy and complete
23:52
and spiritual teachings are continually
23:57
reminding us to turn inwards then you’re
24:00
never going to find your completeness
24:03
your happiness out there that’s the
24:05
error looking for it out there if we
24:07
turn inwards we find that we might just
24:11
bump into the core of who we are and
24:13
find that it doesn’t actually require
24:19
anything specific in order to be it
24:23
already exists so this is very important
24:27
that this becomes a movement that we
24:30
start to experience for ourselves a
24:33
stopping a stopping of the thinking mind
24:39
that is continually looking outward and
24:42
arresting in our own being
24:58
that becomes self confirming its then
25:01
not a belief if we don’t bump into that
25:05
part of ourselves which really means a
25:09
capacity to rest so meditation is that
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if we find ourselves sitting and
25:18
meditating and our meditation progresses
25:23
to a certain form of meditation where
25:25
there is just a slowing down that we
25:30
find we’re quite capable of just sitting
25:34
there and feeling like nothing needs to
25:38
be done nothing needs to change if you
25:45
can ask the microphone back then great
25:58
you talk about turning inwards and like
26:04
resting in self abidance
26:07
or and I have a sensation that does
26:13
naturally happening but then there is
26:16
also like seeking that nisargadatta I
26:21
was talking about like seeking for the
26:23
core and in a way I understand that
26:31
raman also was talking about that
26:33
seeking inwards through the question Who
26:37
am I like like you mentioned also
26:42
finding the core and that is something
26:48
that just happens spontaneously by self
26:52
abidance actually self abidance
26:56
is the discovery of the core if you are
27:01
abiding in I am you have the answer to
27:06
Who am I so self abidance is the answer
27:16
is is finding the core and the self
27:23
abidance happens not because someone
27:26
does self abiding if someone is trying
27:30
to do self abiding that gets in the way
27:33
of dropping it’s a seeking activity of
27:39
the mind which is part of the thinking
27:41
mind part of trying to control and do it
27:45
how do I do it and so if we find
27:48
ourselves seeking at some point we’ll
27:53
recognize that this seeking is actually
27:56
part of the problem and when that’s
28:00
recognized by the working mind like the
28:04
working mind sees I even when I’m
28:07
sitting in my
28:08
tation I’m asking where is where is this
28:10
call what do I have to do am i doing it
28:14
right
28:16
Who am I who am i if that at some point
28:20
we’ll see that that actually is what’s
28:22
getting in the way stop and so as if the
28:27
if the working mind just says stop then
28:31
then we feel a drifting and a dropping
28:35
into being
28:44
the seeking happens because nisargadatta
28:48
points to finding like the seed of
28:52
existence that he was searching inwards
28:56
and he found this seed that maybe Ramana
29:03
speaks about it like located in the
29:06
heart
29:07
so although self abidance is very
29:12
peaceful and there is this sense of
29:15
awareness or in inner space there is
29:19
still the seeking for the seed because
29:22
you haven’t realized that you just found
29:24
it
29:36
the self abidance that you say is very
29:40
peaceful is the seed that nisargadatta
29:43
is talking about if we have an
29:46
expectation in our head of finding
29:50
something we can find it and have it and
29:56
then still be looking because we think
29:59
there’s something more
30:01
so this spiritual teachings are filled
30:05
with warnings they have to because on
30:07
the one hand they tell you that you need
30:09
to seek for it and you don’t have it so
30:12
seek for it then because they understand
30:16
that there’s problems with anything that
30:19
we say they put a warning in that says
30:21
the seeking in itself can become a
30:23
problem
30:25
so the seeking is needed to direct us in
30:29
the right direction and at some point
30:31
the seeking itself has to stop now
30:34
that’s sort of the seeking stops once
30:38
we’re in the right and pointing in the
30:41
right direction
30:42
so what you’ve just said to me where you
30:47
talk about self abidance is abiding in I
30:53
am that nosaka data talks about
31:06
I guess I understood that there is a
31:11
difference between the seeking out words
31:14
and then the seeking in words but that
31:20
within self abidance the seeking
31:25
continues yeah and it’s the same
31:29
principle the same problematic principle
31:34
if the seeking you know at some point we
31:38
say that the seeking becomes the seeking
31:42
for enlightenment is the final obstacle
31:45
that needs to be overcome but in this
31:52
case I in in your in your question I get
31:56
a sense that you have idea about what
32:01
the seed is you have an idea or an
32:06
expectation a image of what the seed is
32:10
that Nyssa Carter is talking about and
32:13
that image when you actually rest in
32:16
your own being doesn’t match so your
32:21
being is what it is so your self abiding
32:24
but because there’s a expectation and
32:27
imagination of what what else needs to
32:30
be found it it then means that what
32:37
you’ve actually found isn’t appreciated
32:41
it’s it’s this process of looking for
32:43
more again and there’s many reasons why
32:48
that can happen but this this having an
32:53
idea or an expectation and
32:54
interpretation it’s just because we’ve
32:56
read that say things a certain way and
32:59
the expectation gets put in place and
33:02
often what happens is we can drop into
33:04
being and it’s so ordinary a given that
33:14
it’s described as so extraordinary
33:17
sometimes we serve say all this can’t be
33:20
it then it is appreciated it is like
33:26
self loving and what happens is is there
33:35
is like a recognition of that being
33:38
awareness but what happens is there is
33:42
still separation they not seeing they
33:50
not recognizing the self in everybody
33:54
there is a sense of the awareness but
33:58
not the recognition of the awareness in
34:00
people or the self or in people hmm so
34:06
that’s why in this framework we try to
34:09
keep it practical and say so what are we
34:12
really looking for because if we
34:14
approach it from the top-down angle only
34:18
we sometimes think that it might just be
34:22
about oneness an experience of oneness
34:24
where the person falls away dissolves
34:27
and we can actually think that’s what
34:30
enlightenment is that when I no longer
34:34
know myself as a person and all I know
34:37
is the self then that is liberation now
34:43
those shifts happen they are significant
34:48
when they happen there are a result of
34:50
changes that are happening but I would
34:56
say we miss the point and can get
34:59
sidetracked if we get lost in that
35:01
esoteric movement because what are we
35:05
really looking for in practical terms
35:07
in practical terms we’re not looking for
35:10
just enlightenment because what is
35:12
enlightenment so we need to know what is
35:14
enlightenment in practical terms and the
35:18
answer that’s given here is
35:20
enlightenment is to continue to live as
35:22
the human being
35:23
to continue to have your good points in
35:27
your bad points but to find yourself
35:31
living life until it’s time for death to
35:35
kick in at peace with yourself at peace
35:39
with life and in practical terms that
35:44
peace is the end of a psychological
35:49
movement that disturbs the peace and
35:53
it’s always attitude and alter
35:55
circumstance
35:59
this isn’t different to what Ron and I
36:01
spoke about he spoke speaks about the
36:03
vasanas and the quieting down of the
36:05
vast nodes and the samskaras and I’m
36:09
just describing the vastness and the
36:11
samskaras in terminology like guilt
36:16
blame pride worry expectation and
36:19
pointing out that the reason that those
36:22
vasanas arise is because there is a seed
36:25
in place in the human being and that
36:28
seed is a seed of personal doership and
36:32
attachment to outcome once the seed of
36:37
personal doer ship is dissolved meaning
36:40
we no longer see ourself as a separate
36:42
independent entity the separation your
36:46
the the separation that is a problem
36:48
falls away because what gets seen is
36:52
that I am connected to source that the
36:57
human being is impersonal consciousness
37:01
of source linked to a particular body
37:04
mind organism and functioning through
37:06
that body mind organism as personal
37:08
consciousness so if I awaken to the
37:13
consciousness inside me the
37:15
consciousness that is functioning
37:17
through this body which really means
37:22
personal consciousness because it’s
37:25
functioning through this body and the
37:29
personal consciousness is what we
37:32
experience of life our self
37:35
and the momentary experience that’s the
37:37
personal consciousness in the English
37:41
language the word conscious is used in a
37:45
way that can point us to a recognition
37:47
of the consciousness functioning through
37:48
the human being if we are hit on the
37:52
head with a baseball bat we can lose
37:55
consciousness so when we do a little
38:00
thought experiment to understand what is
38:02
this consciousness we keep hearing about
38:04
consciousness and one of the rare
38:09
occasions where everyday language helps
38:12
us understand what Scourge spiritual
38:16
meaning is so if we get hit on the head
38:18
and we lose consciousness what happens
38:20
if we get hit on the head in the
38:24
personal consciousness experience that
38:26
which is here in this moment is gone
38:30
because consciousness is withdrawn it’s
38:34
no longer functioning through the body
38:37
and then we regain consciousness it all
38:45
appears again so this consciousness is
38:51
has always been functioning through us
38:54
it’s always been the background the
38:57
basis of our daily life experience and
39:02
it’s gone unnoticed it’s because it’s
39:05
always there so we tend to think that
39:10
it’s not there we miss it and if we
39:15
recognize what a significant component
39:18
of our life experience consciousness is
39:21
ie
39:21
it wouldn’t exist without it and we
39:24
realize that this consciousness is
39:26
functioning through the body and it’s
39:29
the consciousness of source functioning
39:31
through this body then when we are
39:35
continually aware of our consciousness
39:37
which is always here at any point in
39:40
time we’re continually aware of our
39:44
connection to source and so if we know
39:46
ourself as the person
39:48
which person means consciousness of
39:52
source linked to a particular body-mind
39:54
functioning through as personal
39:56
consciousness now I know the other
39:58
person is the same the impersonal
40:04
consciousness of source linked to
40:07
another body mind organism functioning
40:09
through that body mind organism as
40:12
personal consciousness so this is one of
40:15
the ways we can come to see the
40:18
consciousness not only in ourselves but
40:22
to also know that if it functions
40:24
through me this way its functioning
40:26
through the other in the same way so we
40:28
now know that what happens through me on
40:32
a circumstantial basis is not my doing
40:35
it’s part of the unfolding of life as a
40:39
whole that what I do in each moment is
40:43
part of the destined story of life I am
40:47
an extrusion of life I’m an instrument
40:49
of life and I’m one with life so what
40:53
happens through me is not my
40:55
orchestration but part of life what
41:00
happens through the other is the same
41:03
part of life not they’re doing I know
41:07
myself as connected to source and
41:10
therefore I see the other is connected
41:11
to source so from this point of view we
41:14
see life is a happening everyone is
41:18
functioning divinely even when the
41:21
divine function is cruelty it’s part of
41:27
the functioning of life an easy way of
41:29
us getting past this is to see when the
41:33
the lion eats a baby gazelle alive it’s
41:39
part of the divinity of life it’s
41:45
it’s a happening as part of life so if I
41:49
psych psychology stops functioning
41:54
whereby we see ourself as separate then
41:59
we start to see that we’re all brothers
42:01
and sisters in life playing our role and
42:05
when someone hurts me I see it was my
42:10
destiny as part of life to be heard and
42:13
their destiny to be the instrument
42:16
through which the hurting happens so
42:19
it’s not really as personal as it is
42:22
when I know myself as this separate
42:24
independent entity and then I see them
42:27
as a separate independent entity and if
42:30
this happens the load of guilt and blame
42:35
that we’ve been carrying around our
42:37
whole life can fall away
42:47
so this is why I think we should ask
42:51
this question this very practical
42:54
question what am I really looking for in
42:56
life and the answer is after many years
43:01
of seeking if you are in the
43:03
flip-flopping phase and suffering comes
43:06
back in you’ll be able to answer that
43:08
question honestly and practically
43:12
instead of philosophical ego who Who am
43:14
I kidding
43:15
I just want to be happy and what is
43:18
happiness happiness is the end of this
43:20
load of uncomfortableness with life and
43:25
sometimes it takes you know we really
43:28
have a habit of not being present not
43:32
seeing things as they are
43:34
we’re very impressionable as human
43:36
beings until we start believing all
43:39
sorts of things about what we’re looking
43:41
for sometimes it takes us to be really
43:45
real and honest and have our attention
43:49
focused on something to get an answer
43:53
that we say actually this isn’t
43:55
philosophy this isn’t spiritual belief
43:57
I’m answering it based on my own
43:59
experience I just want to be happy and
44:04
the happiness that I can understand is
44:10
available is the ending of suffering but
44:13
I can’t expect happiness to be a
44:16
happiness where everything is always the
44:19
way I want
44:19
I can’t expect happiness to be pleasure
44:22
pleasure pleasure pleasure that’s
44:24
unrealistic we can look at life it’s got
44:27
so many components we’re not in control
44:29
of any of the components and to expect
44:33
somehow life to deliver pleasure
44:35
pleasure pleasure to everyone is
44:38
unrealistic when we look at it we find
44:41
that our unhappiness is not actually
44:44
unhappiness from pain it might seem like
44:48
it is when we look closely we’ll find
44:50
our unhappiness is always attitudinal to
44:53
the pain and it’s based on this false
44:57
self-image that has been put in place
44:59
this false self image that says what I
45:02
am is X Y and Zed and I need ABC to
45:07
happen in order for me to be complete it
45:13
isn’t who we are that’s why then we get
45:15
asked to go inward now we can’t go
45:19
inward if we’re continuing to function
45:24
in a way that says well I’ll go in with
45:26
when I finish getting a B and C because
45:30
that’s what I need so I’ll take your
45:33
advice to heart I’ll get to it
45:37
one day when I finished getting a B and
45:40
C C that’s then we see that’s the
45:43
obstacle thinking the thinking that says
45:47
I need to get a B and C in order to be
45:49
complete it’s like stop here I have gone
45:56
inward how do we get so the question how
46:00
do we go in with the real answer is you
46:02
can’t because you’re not the one that
46:04
creates the stop you’re not the one
46:07
that’s creating the thinking it’s all
46:09
happening according to your makeup but
46:12
once life has conditioned us enough to
46:14
realize what the obstacle is what the
46:17
problem is the seeking outward once the
46:21
working mind is conditioned the working
46:22
mind says stop not in a way that it gets
46:26
into a debate with the thinking mind
46:27
just is stopped
46:34
stop and be
46:47
if the working mind never gets informed
46:52
in simple practical language about what
46:55
the problem is then there’s no policeman
46:59
in the environment and the thinking mind
47:03
continues to function in the way it
47:05
thinks is beneficial that’s why the
47:08
thinking mind is functioning that way
47:09
because it actually believes that it is
47:12
an entity that requires life to be a
47:15
certain way and so it’s doing everything
47:16
it can to control life including blaming
47:19
the others blaming oneself saying you
47:21
should be better because it thinks that
47:24
it is going to achieve the solution
47:40
so expectation and attachment to
47:43
outcomes that’s one of the forms of
47:46
suffering based on the belief that my
47:48
completeness is to be found in outcomes
47:50
and expectation and attachment to
47:52
outcomes is a functioning of the brain
47:57
the thinking mind that is continually
48:00
looking outward continually in
48:04
conjunction with the belief in doership
48:05
saying okay this is what I need how am I
48:08
going to do it it just needs to be seen
48:14
to be the problem and then it starts to
48:18
stop so when you drop in words there is
48:27
a stopping to some degree isn’t
48:39
yes the expectation is on like
48:47
psychological patterns falling away
48:50
because there are reactions that are
48:53
even stronger than before the seeking
48:57
like I was more politically correct in
49:09
in social behavior and now it’s is it
49:20
not another attachment to outcome yeah
49:25
but it just brings more separation he
49:29
brings more pain
49:37
it does the fact of the matter is that
49:40
the flow of life is always a combination
49:45
of pleasure and pain that is the nature
49:49
of the flow of life sometimes pleasure
49:51
sometimes pain and our reactions our
49:56
behavior is part of the flow of life and
49:59
sometimes we are going to deliver
50:01
pleasure to others and that can be
50:04
pleasurable to ourselves sometimes we
50:07
deliver pleasure to ourselves based on
50:10
the way we function and sometimes the
50:14
opposite and to have an expectation that
50:18
I become a perfect human being is once
50:23
again expectation it’s a basis of
50:27
resistance a basis of suffering so if I
50:31
expect myself to be a perfect human
50:33
being when in fact life is designed me
50:35
to be an imperfect human being there is
50:38
a gap there is bound to be a resistance
50:42
of an expectation is a essentially a
50:44
belief I need this I need to be a
50:51
perfect human being so we are
50:54
essentially creating like a snapshot of
50:57
how we would like life to be and saying
51:00
it needs to be that way and then we
51:01
overlay it again on top of actual actual
51:05
life and they’re not going to match and
51:09
so if they don’t match then we have a
51:12
reason to resist life because it doesn’t
51:16
match my expectation
51:18
so if our expectation falls away because
51:22
we realize it doesn’t make sense to have
51:24
expectations of life which is this beast
51:27
that is unfolding very complex if I have
51:32
expectations of life it’s a recipe for
51:34
disappointment
51:35
a recipe for judgment and so this is why
51:41
is if we start to come to see the
51:43
different forms of suffering will
51:45
realize that my expectation that I
51:51
and politically correct is an imposition
51:56
on your actual makeup can you accept
52:00
your actual makeup
52:21
I think we need a rationale to accept
52:26
but once the rationale is there the
52:28
accepting starts to become obvious it’s
52:30
like I didn’t create my design I’m not
52:36
in control of whether I’m politically
52:41
correct or not
52:43
well maybe politically correct is not
52:47
the right word but if I see the self in
52:50
the other I would be more sounds like an
53:13
expectation
53:30
seeing you know the life is on the
53:35
surface level duality interconnected
53:38
opposites health disease wealth poverty
53:42
big small male female hot cold we have
53:47
an expectation that life be just the
53:50
good the positive the pleasurable that’s
53:55
not the nature of life life is duality
53:57
interconnected opposites if there is
54:01
health
54:01
there will be disease these are the
54:06
explanations that can highlight the
54:11
limited seeing of the thinking mind Wow
54:15
why once we realize that the flow of
54:18
life is always going to be a mix of
54:21
pleasure and pain then when pain comes
54:25
we’re not surprised by it see yes this
54:30
is part of life when we have an
54:32
expectation that life we pleasure
54:33
pleasure pleasure and pain comes we
54:35
think the universe was broken down or
54:37
something you know it’s like this
54:38
shouldn’t be like this
54:48
if you start to give yourself the
54:53
freedom to be who you are which includes
54:57
the biological and psychological aspect
54:59
as well as the consciousness and that
55:02
comes with an understanding actually I
55:04
can’t be different
55:07
we start off giving ourself this freedom
55:10
and then behind the vault we have to
55:12
give it to the other
55:16
they can’t be different now to the
55:24
identity that exists which includes this
55:27
strong attachment to outcomes what I’m
55:30
saying
55:31
sounds unappealing because it says hang
55:36
on a sec I’m not going to give this
55:38
freedom to the other two just let them
55:41
be as they are if I do that then I’m not
55:43
going to get what I think I need which
55:46
is outcomes pleasure pleasure pleasure
55:48
so this description of life is actually
55:52
a very big challenge to the ingrained
55:56
identity and by and large if I was
56:01
putting forward this to the average
56:04
person on the street if I paid I’d have
56:07
to pay a hundred people in a supermarket
56:10
or a shopping center to come and listen
56:11
they would be getting up and leaving
56:14
because it’s too much of a challenge too
56:19
much of an attack on the ingrained
56:23
identity at a certain point when an
56:29
earnestness kicks in the seeking answers
56:32
actually I am really earnest about this
56:37
then there’s a receptivity is an
56:39
openness and certain things can sink in
56:45
can be acceptable
56:47
so the fact what I’m suggesting is a way
56:53
of seeing life objectively rather than
56:55
from a invested standpoint where we just
56:59
said actually it’s true I can’t control
57:01
Lila actually it’s true if my brain
57:04
wasn’t designed in such a way that I
57:07
have a high intellect I’m not going to
57:09
be able to do certain calculations and
57:11
so in the same way I can’t expect the
57:15
other to be how I want them to be they
57:19
are how they are this is the basis on
57:22
which acceptance kicks in acceptance is
57:25
not something we do
57:26
we don’t actually accept acceptance is
57:30
the falling away of non acceptance non
57:34
acceptance is when we want someone to be
57:37
a certain way they’re not and we don’t
57:40
accept the way they are because we have
57:45
an expectation that they are a different
57:47
way and when that falls away we find
57:51
that the non acceptance doesn’t happen
57:53
and then we realize acceptance is not
57:57
something that I have to work hard on
57:59
doing it’s what’s naturally there when
58:02
non acceptance doesn’t arise so doesn’t
58:06
it make sense that in order for non
58:09
acceptance to not arise meaning the
58:13
falling away of resistance it makes
58:17
sense that the basis on which the
58:18
resistance or the non acceptance used to
58:21
happen needs to start to be undermined
58:24
the basis is of non acceptance is that
58:28
the other could or should be the way I
58:31
want them or they could be different to
58:33
the way they are that’s the basis on
58:35
which resistance arises if that was true
58:41
then it’s not going to get undermined
58:43
you can’t undermine something that is
58:45
true but if something is false then you
58:48
can undermine it by bringing in an
58:50
opposite concept that highlights its
58:54
inaccuracy
59:03
to keep this in mind next time you look
59:06
at a politician and think they should be
59:09
different
59:18
it’s valid to discern right as opposed
59:22
to judge human beings have the capacity
59:25
of discernment that discernment means
59:28
that um if someone is driving in a 40
59:32
kilometer an hour zone at a hundred
59:34
kilometres an hour you see that that car
59:37
is moving too fast and that it’s a
59:38
school zone or something like that and
59:40
so you can say that is dangerous driving
59:44
so there is a discernment that registers
59:50
something relative to a certain
59:51
benchmark so relative to safety that is
59:54
that person is driving too fast that
59:58
doesn’t mean that you see them as the
60:01
doer and it doesn’t mean that you don’t
60:05
tell them to slow down so this
60:10
discernment is different to judgment
60:12
it’s very important is that you could
60:14
see that someone for example eats a lot
60:18
of sugar if you spend time and they’re
60:19
always eating sugar you can discern and
60:22
say relative to health you eat way much
60:25
way too much sugar but at the same time
60:28
as discerning them if you understand
60:31
that they are functioning according to
60:32
their genes and up-to-date-conditioning
60:35
not as a separate independent doer then
60:40
there is an empathy for the situation an
60:45
understanding so you can discern without
60:48
judgment needing to be included in the
60:51
discernment okay yeah something came in
60:58
a couple of minutes ago let me see if I
61:00
can parse it out so there’s been a
61:05
seeing here that there’s constant
61:09
judgment here even when it might not
61:13
seem like there’s judgment and it might
61:14
seem like I’m liking this or enjoying
61:17
this if I check in there’s been a seeing
61:21
that there’s a judgment and there’s
61:24
there is that something which can see
61:27
that kind of constant judgment and feel
61:31
this freedom
61:32
and feel that is what I am to a certain
61:35
extent so it is something that feels the
61:38
constant judgment that can see the
61:40
judgment that’s kind of always at the
61:43
root of the disease of the moment and in
61:47
that seeing there is this knowing hmm
61:51
but then it comes right back and in
61:54
relation to the judgment or the subtle
61:57
disease and in kind of relation to your
61:59
message if I’m clear that what I want is
62:07
freedom from that and that judgment is
62:10
suffering and if I what I want is
62:12
freedom from that mmm that’s suffering
62:16
something is free of it but I’m not that
62:23
I’m just the constant judging meaning
62:32
that the doer of that of that knowing I
62:35
can’t be that the doer of that okay I
62:41
didn’t it’s the words aren’t coming out
62:44
right hey if I can rephrase rephrase it
62:46
so it fits into this framework yeah it
62:49
might yeah I think so you find that as a
62:53
person you are partaking in a situation
62:59
that’s what’s always happening in life
63:01
even when you are in pleasurable
63:04
situations you find there is still a
63:08
tendency for you to be judging it might
63:13
not be a conscious thought stream but if
63:15
you if I’m assessing the disease as that
63:18
I that’s that’s a way of an access point
63:22
for me to to to witness it
63:27
yes um and so once you realize that that
63:34
is the form of suffering that is
63:35
disturbing the peace which is available
63:40
peace while enjoying something and peace
63:45
while
63:46
not enjoying something yeah so if you
63:49
come to notice that even when you’re
63:50
enjoying something there is a
63:53
subconscious tendency to be judging
63:56
which creates this this discomfort this
63:59
this years because it’s gonna go yes
64:02
exactly
64:02
so the this concept or that or this not
64:08
concept but this topic you’re bringing
64:10
up in various scriptures the
64:14
unenlightened person the seeker or maybe
64:19
not even got to the point of seeking is
64:21
referred to as a bogey meaning enjoyer
64:25
because they are attached to outcomes so
64:28
they essentially have desires and
64:31
they’re continually seeking after their
64:32
desires so bogey means enjoy and in the
64:38
same scriptures an enlightened person is
64:43
referred to as a Maha bogey a super
64:46
enjoyer so am i scratch our hidden think
64:49
that’s strange it seems like it’s saying
64:51
that the problem of someone who is an
64:54
enjoyer when you’d think that if you
64:57
call someone a super enjoyer which is
65:00
what am ma hibachi is the super enjoy
65:02
that’s like really unenlightened but in
65:07
fact it’s being used for the enlightened
65:09
person and the reason being is that this
65:15
exact thing is that when we are seeking
65:17
when we’re attached to outcomes when
65:20
pleasure is here we’re not able to fully
65:22
enjoy it
65:23
because there is this thought when will
65:25
it end what will happen if it ends could
65:27
I make it more intense and so that
65:32
mental process is actually interfering
65:36
with your enjoyment and so in the case
65:41
of the Maha bogey what it’s suggesting
65:43
is that that attachment has fallen away
65:45
so when pleasure is delivered it is part
65:49
of life and it is enjoyed fully without
65:51
this interference of it um so we go back
65:57
to the fact that okay we see that
65:59
this is in place so we understand that
66:02
this is a form of suffering we need to
66:05
understand on what basis is that
66:07
happening and the basis is attachment to
66:10
outcome the belief that I am an entity
66:14
that becomes more and more when there is
66:17
more and more pleasure but I am going to
66:20
be complete when there is pleasure
66:22
pleasure pleasure pleasure so
66:24
automatically we are forced to
66:26
continually be seeking pleasure and even
66:29
when there’s pleasure we think well what
66:31
if I can make it more what will happen
66:34
when it falls away so we see it’s based
66:37
on this attachment to outcome now the
66:41
seeing the understanding is what I would
66:49
call the working mind right so
66:52
conditioning of the working mind allows
66:54
us to see these dynamics now the working
66:56
mind doesn’t follow the same rules as
66:59
the thinking mind so it doesn’t insist
67:02
that the judgment not be there it just
67:07
understands that the judgment is a
67:10
happening and it’s happening the seeing
67:15
of the working mind ironically or
67:20
counter-intuitively to how we think we
67:23
function the seeing is enough it’s the
67:26
beginning of the disillusion if we
67:28
follow the thinking mind the thinking
67:29
mind’s is well judgment is happening how
67:32
do i I have to stop the judgment I
67:35
shouldn’t judge
67:38
now if the thinking mind kicks in and
67:40
sees the judgment and then says I
67:42
shouldn’t judge that’s more judgement
67:45
judgement of the judgment right so what
67:48
you’re saying is that you’ve found or
67:51
not you have found but life has
67:54
conditioned you such that now when you
67:56
see the judgment a different movement
67:59
happens to the thinking mind the
68:04
thinking mind would come in and judge
68:06
the judgment and instead of the judgment
68:08
falling away the judgment would be
68:11
accompanied by another layer of
68:14
what you described is that you see it
68:19
and in seeing it it falls away but you
68:23
also said that it comes back and I guess
68:26
that’s the problem is that you don’t you
68:29
know you’d like it not to come back
68:32
so the fact it comes back means that the
68:37
way you’re designed at the moment is for
68:40
it to be there in the first place for it
68:43
to be seen rather than judged which is
68:46
an improvement for the initial judgement
68:50
to fall away temporarily and then for
68:53
the judgment to come back the working
68:56
mind will understand what I just
68:59
described and therefore the by default
69:05
accepting of the situation because it
69:07
doesn’t resist them and as that
69:11
understanding of non-resistance
69:15
happens more and more because it
69:19
understands that it couldn’t happen
69:22
differently you’ll find that the initial
69:25
judgment starts to be affected because
69:30
it’s that same principle of wanting life
69:32
to be different that is at the root of
69:34
the initial judgment right so as you
69:39
find a non judging of the judgment
69:41
happening in time the primary judgment
69:46
will fall away because that that type of
69:51
functioning that is judging is being
69:55
replaced first on the outer level where
69:58
there is no judgment of the judgment
70:00
even when it comes back there is a
70:05
understanding this is how it is and in
70:08
time there will be an understanding this
70:10
is how life is this pleasure here let me
70:12
enjoy it in the next moment the pleasure
70:15
may be intensified or it may fall away
70:17
that’s life
70:19
so I will have to endure the pain if it
70:23
falls away and I’ll have to enjoy more
70:26
pleasure if it’s
70:29
it becomes an attitude of allowing and
70:32
understand our on a basis of
70:35
understanding that my nan allowing has
70:40
never actually controlled life mine on
70:42
allowing has just created a resistance
70:44
to the life that always is in in this
70:53
teaching are you pointing to there is no
70:58
doer or life god what is is the doer I’m
71:04
saying I’m saying that the human being
71:06
is not the doer of what happens through
71:10
them we we still on one level will say
71:14
well I am the one that dug the hole
71:17
you know I dug the hole because on one
71:22
level yes I physically dug the hole but
71:25
hopefully there’s an underlying attitude
71:28
that is also there simultaneous and says
71:32
and I dug the hole according to my genes
71:34
and up-to-date-conditioning in the
71:36
circumstance I found myself in so
71:38
someone comes and say who dug the hole
71:40
he said I dug the hole hey that’s you
71:42
did a terrible job you might say really
71:46
why and they say look it was meant to be
71:48
two meters deep for Mom meter wide and
71:50
you’ve made it two meters wide and one
71:51
meter deep so our discernment will then
71:54
say oh oh wow I got it wrong and with
72:01
the deep understanding that I’m not the
72:03
doer it means yes I have to suffer the
72:06
consequences because society is going to
72:08
judge me as the doer society is going to
72:11
reward me for those actions that happen
72:14
through me that deliver pleasure and
72:15
punish me for those actions that come
72:18
through me that deliver pain so in this
72:21
case relative to the dimensions of the
72:23
hole as specified I’ve delivered pain to
72:27
the person who commissioned the hole so
72:31
I am going to receive pain from that
72:34
person he’s going to tell me I’ve done a
72:36
terrible job and I can acknowledge
72:40
that well and that base is here I didn’t
72:42
do a great job with the deep
72:44
understanding that what happened was
72:47
destiny what happened was the only thing
72:51
that could have happened based on my
72:53
genes and up-to-date-conditioning that I
72:55
which are two factors I was never in
72:57
control of so when this understanding
73:02
sinks in in a healthy way and as it’s
73:07
sinking in sometimes there are phases
73:09
where it isn’t balanced when it fits in
73:12
in a healthy way we find that there’s a
73:16
paradox there where we on the one hand
73:20
act as if we are the doers we say yes I
73:25
dug the hole but we also understand that
73:29
I am only ever functioning according to
73:32
my makeup and so the shame for having
73:36
dug the hole incorrectly so we look at
73:38
the instructions in here well yes it
73:40
does say to deepen one wide and I did do
73:42
the inverse so I would say the thought
73:46
comes I didn’t I really wasn’t paying
73:51
attention or whatever but I understand
73:53
that that’s a functioning of the brain
73:55
someone might have been talking to me
73:56
and distracting me and so the shame
73:59
which says I’m such a failure I should
74:02
have done differently all of that which
74:04
extends horizontally in time for days
74:08
and weeks and months and years sometimes
74:11
it doesn’t have a basis on which to
74:13
arise so my question is in the seeing
74:26
that even in spiritual success even in
74:30
seemingly meaningful success on what
74:33
would feel like the thinking mind in
74:35
kind of digesting year the working mind
74:38
no I’m saying the confusion of the
74:41
seeking mind okay
74:43
calling the seeking mind kind of the
74:44
thinking mind yeah that
74:49
that movement which feels aligned with
74:55
what I would feel my human being level
74:58
you know create suffering it’s all it
75:02
does even when it seems to create an
75:05
awakening moment it’s just claiming
75:07
something that that happened and then it
75:10
couldn’t then it creates suffering
75:11
around it not your doing
75:13
and but then there there is this power
75:19
that is the doing of that which is
75:25
meaningful which would be freedom from
75:27
suffering the happening happening so in
75:29
both cases that are happening there is
75:31
the happening of the thinking mind that
75:33
creates suffering it’s a happening not
75:37
your doing it’s a happening according to
75:39
the genes and up-to-date-conditioning at
75:41
that point in time right the judgment
75:44
let’s say the claiming stuff it’s a
75:47
happening it happens it’s a color that
75:49
the artists of life has used a lot of
75:52
and then there is the other happening
75:56
the happening of the working mind that
75:57
cuts off the thinking mind let’s say
75:59
also are happening according to your
76:02
genes and up-to-date-conditioning so
76:04
really everything is a happening
76:06
according to God’s will you could say
76:07
everything’s are happening according to
76:09
life but life functions through each of
76:13
us so we also have to sort of have the
76:16
paradox yes I did it but I understand
76:21
I’m not the doer of any of it
76:24
so if there is a flash of liberation or
76:30
enlightenment which is not really how in
76:33
my opinion it happens it tends to be a
76:35
gradual process with moments of insight
76:39
when that happens that’s not your doing
76:42
that’s part of destiny but you get to
76:46
enjoy the benefits so even our attitude
76:53
to life the attitude of doer ship and
76:56
attachment not our doing
76:59
the attitude of the falling away what we
77:03
could call Nandu ership and
77:04
non-attachment understanding it’s just
77:06
the absence of the other attitude also
77:08
not our doing
77:11
it’s all happening life is a happening
77:15
the confusion is where life has included
77:20
in it the belief of personal doership
77:23
which doesn’t create a doer and just
77:25
creates the belief that we are a doer so
77:30
like the kid driving the steering wheel
77:33
at the back of the car the kid might
77:35
think he’s turning the car it’s a belief
77:41
it’s an attitude just because their
77:44
belief in attitude is there hasn’t made
77:47
us the doer so in life life has included
77:53
this belief in personal doership which
77:56
claims ownership over life and life
78:01
brings away a dissolution of that and
78:04
then life is seen as a happening and
78:06
when life is seen as a happening
78:08
naturally there’s an acceptance because
78:10
the non acceptance does now and that’s
78:12
why we’re told it’s actually so simple
78:14
it’s so effortless and yet that needs to
78:19
be qualified because it doesn’t mean
78:21
it’s so simple why aren’t you doing it
78:25
it’s so it’s saying when it happens it’s
78:28
so simple because it’s just the falling
78:30
away of a layer of delusion seeing life
78:36
through a lens that doesn’t allow us to
78:40
see correctly and it’s just the removing
78:44
of the lens it’s such a simple action
78:46
you know we we might see life all
78:48
distorted and we think like there’s so
78:50
much I need to it’s going to be so hard
78:52
to figure all of this out and when the
78:54
lens is staying away it’s like nothing
78:57
to figure out it’s so simple when that
78:59
happens but the lens being taken away is
79:03
a happening coming to satsang is also a
79:08
happening and because the story of life
79:10
is a story of cause and effect
79:12
on the surface level it makes sense that
79:17
we have certain insights like the inside
79:20
I simply cannot be the doer a flash of
79:25
insight happens
79:27
I simply cannot be to do but in life
79:29
because life is designed to be a
79:31
cause-and-effect story that insight
79:35
doesn’t just happen
79:37
with no cause so when we have that
79:44
insight there tends to be a cause coming
79:48
to satsang can be part of that causal
79:52
effect just like you know if you speak
79:55
Japanese there’s a cause you enter
79:58
Japanese class you grew up in Japanese
80:01
household so I’m speaking English as
80:04
part of the spontaneous arising in this
80:07
moment but because what this this
80:11
creation is a causal creation even after
80:15
liberation you you know ramen are still
80:19
needed to turn the kettle on if he
80:21
wanted hot water I am NOT the doer is
80:29
the working mind translating something
80:31
into the language for the thinking mind
80:33
I am not the doer is something that the
80:39
working mind can come to be conditioned
80:42
to understand so there’s a concept that
80:45
says you’re not the doer because
80:47
whatever happens through you is a result
80:50
of the complexity of the body that you
80:52
weren’t in control of so that’s the
80:54
concept that concept is new conditioning
80:58
it’s received by the intellect and
81:00
someone can go I understand the concept
81:02
intellectually so that now means that
81:05
the working mind has been conditioned to
81:08
have new conditioning up-to-date new
81:12
up-to-date-conditioning and the working
81:16
mind can catch the thinking mind in
81:19
action when the thinking mind is blaming
81:22
the other the working mind can look at
81:25
the thought pattern
81:26
see that Blaine is based on you have to
81:29
investigate it for yourself based on
81:31
your own experience right which happens
81:33
out in the world as you’re living your
81:35
life and it happens not because you say
81:38
okay between 10:00 and 11:00 I need to
81:40
investigate blame for example because
81:42
blame might not present itself in
81:44
between 10:00 and 11:00 so it’s when you
81:47
are at the shop ready to pay for
81:49
something and someone jumps in front of
81:51
you and has a pile of stuff and you’re
81:55
standing there thinking hey you asked
81:58
what and and blame arises right and then
82:02
the working mind watches it and based on
82:08
its understanding it’s it’s been
82:10
equipped it sees what the story is I
82:14
hate you you heard me I hate you
82:17
essentially you hurt me by making me
82:20
wait longer that’s not in line with my
82:22
preferences so pain in the moment I hate
82:25
you for being the way you are that’s the
82:29
uncomfortableness and the working mind
82:33
sees it and what can happen not your
82:36
doing is automatically it cuts off the
82:39
blame so automatically there is a
82:41
dropping out of blame into an acceptance
82:46
that this is destiny this is life it is
82:54
is it came and it seemed a line with
82:59
this the idea that I am the thinker is
83:07
kind of meaningless and it’s just kind
83:09
of a made-up idea this that there’s this
83:11
all this whole flow of life this whole
83:13
flow of memory so flow of conditioning
83:16
and then that idea that somehow I can
83:19
step in and control that in this moment
83:24
is just kind of an insane premise yes
83:31
and it doesn’t make any sense
83:32
and it’s great suffering it seemed
83:35
similar to I am NOT
83:37
but it came yeah yeah so what we replace
83:41
the idea that I am the thinker so we if
83:44
we see thought we say well this thought
83:46
there must be a thinker and I’m the
83:48
thinker and the I that we imagine
83:51
ourself is is some fictitious entity
83:54
that is sort of the gatekeeper that has
83:59
complete control over what thoughts
84:01
arise and that’s the fiction that there
84:04
is this controlling entity that chooses
84:08
what to think the more accurate way of
84:13
coming to see it is that there is this
84:15
body body mind organism with a very
84:20
complex brain so genes and
84:22
up-to-date-conditioning basically means
84:23
the whole body in the brain and how its
84:25
shaped like it’s like a computer and it
84:32
sees something it hears something it
84:34
tastes something smells something
84:36
touches something in the environment and
84:40
that’s not in our control we’re here we
84:42
don’t control the environment if a bird
84:44
flies past we are not in control of the
84:49
situation
84:50
and we see something and if it’s a bird
84:53
we’ve never seen before or the principle
84:57
applies for anything that is seen smell
85:00
touched heard or tasted a thought arises
85:04
wow that’s an interesting bird now that
85:07
thought arose not because some
85:09
controller created that thought but
85:13
because makeup which we’re not in
85:18
control of so it’s of a machine
85:19
essentially see something he has
85:22
something taste something that we’re not
85:23
in control of so when we look at it this
85:25
way we see it’s just a consequence of
85:29
something that came before what came
85:31
before is not in my control and the
85:34
consequence of what came before not in
85:37
my control a result of my complex makeup
85:39
and so then from this perspective we can
85:43
start to witness thoughts arising in a
85:46
body mind organism we can witness
85:49
feelings arising in a body mind organism
85:51
because the principle is the same we
85:53
find ourselves in a situation and
85:55
certain feelings arise not my doing but
86:00
a happening and so then life can be
86:04
witnessed as a happening in particular
86:07
not only the external things happen like
86:11
a branch falls off a tree than just
86:14
physics it’s no one’s doing it’s just a
86:16
happening then we start to see actually
86:18
thinking is merely physics neuro like
86:23
electromagnetic pulses in a neural
86:26
network that’s Stephen Hawking’s
86:30
definition thinking is simply physics
86:33
and a thought arises so we can witness
86:38
thoughts arising and embody mind
86:39
organisms thoughts arising in a body
86:41
mind organism actions arising words
86:44
arising and from this point of view
86:47
previous idea that if there is speaking
86:50
there must be a speaker if there is
86:52
dancing there must be a dancer it
86:56
collapses down into just speaking
86:58
happening dancing happening
87:03
understanding that if we want to look at
87:06
a cause of the speaking the cause is the
87:09
Machine the body mind organism very
87:14
complex beautiful so this is another
87:16
thing that the brain does is if I talk
87:19
about a machine if I talk about genes
87:21
and up-to-date-conditioning we sort of
87:23
have our understanding of what that is
87:26
and we say oh that sounds very
87:27
mechanical you know that’s not life life
87:29
is full and rich and has depth and it
87:34
does just reducing it down to genes and
87:38
up-to-date-conditioning doesn’t reduce
87:40
the depth of life that remains feelings
87:45
like love and all of that is a result of
87:47
the genes and up-to-date-conditioning so
87:50
we’re just containing or category or
87:56
understanding the depth of life in a new
87:59
way
88:09
if you look at a relationship that fails
88:13
and they’re you know they’re very
88:15
charged so they’re the ones where
88:17
suffering often is intense and and we
88:22
know it we feel it it’s intense and if
88:26
we’re lucky in time the suffering
88:29
dissipates and usually it dissipates
88:31
because we tell our story to everyone
88:34
who’s willing to listen and to all those
88:38
that aren’t willing to listen as well
88:39
and inevitably we get advice from people
88:43
and the advice is all sorts varied some
88:50
of the advice let’s say that people give
88:52
even when they haven’t gone through
88:54
specific spiritual teachings is for
88:57
example like you know this is it’s not
88:59
about you it’s about them they you know
89:04
they couldn’t have acted differently and
89:07
slowly in time some of those things sort
89:11
of fit in they sink in and we start
89:16
seeing the relationship the the ending
89:19
of the relationship or the situation
89:22
that happened maybe someone cheated on
89:24
someone else
89:24
we start seeing it in that light and the
89:30
suffering falls away and so when you
89:31
look at what it is in your attitude that
89:37
has come in to the and and this new
89:40
attitude to the situation that has moved
89:43
it from the attitude where there was
89:45
suffering to an attitude where the
89:46
suffering has fallen away you’ll find
89:49
that what was there initially is the
89:53
attitude of do ership and attachment to
89:54
outcome you know he did this I hate him
89:57
why do I hate him because he did this
89:59
which is pain to me and I feel like pain
90:01
is an attack on Who I am and the times
90:06
that it falls away is when some concept
90:08
has come in that has allowed the
90:10
situation to be seen in a less personal
90:14
light scene that it’s got nothing to do
90:18
with me and that
90:20
the situation is maybe not as
90:24
detrimental to my happiness
90:26
you know people say you never know what
90:28
you might find around the corner which
90:31
you know it’s not I’m not saying that
90:33
this is brilliant advice because it’s
90:35
still saying well your happiness will be
90:37
to be found in what it comes round the
90:39
corner and it’s better but at least it
90:41
takes the attention off what I have lost
90:46
and that I’m never going to be complete
90:49
because this has happened so I’m not
90:52
suggesting is it what I’m trying to
90:54
point out is that if you look at what
90:56
actually brings about peace it’s always
90:59
in its different forms of a shift from
91:03
the attitude of doer ship and attachment
91:05
to outcomes to an attitude of Nandu ship
91:09
and non attachment to outcome and
91:14
there’s a good reason for that
91:33
so where would you locate the sense of
91:38
the sing the witnessing or even the
91:41
sense of an annoying mess
91:42
it sounds like sometimes we associate
91:45
this with the working of mind well what
91:50
what happens is we tend to have a
91:52
simplistic view of the human being as
91:55
we’re going through the process and it’s
91:58
good to have a simplistic but a so
92:01
awareness we can’t come up with bump
92:03
into awareness sometimes experience
92:07
shifts and there’s a recognition that
92:10
actually awareness has always been here
92:13
and needs to be here in order for the
92:16
experience to be aware for it to be
92:17
known um and we’ve also then been told
92:21
what we are is awareness sources
92:23
awareness let’s say and so we think that
92:26
awareness is wise for example awareness
92:29
isn’t wise awareness can’t think but we
92:35
tend to think and attribute certain
92:41
characteristics to something like
92:42
awareness that it can see something that
92:48
so awareness is the Faculty of being
92:51
aware but it’s the intellect that draws
92:54
certain conclusions about things and
92:56
they don’t ever exist independently of
93:00
each other
93:01
so that’s why I speak about it like that
93:05
the working mind discerns certain things
93:10
but the witnessing component when we
93:13
just witness if we if we’re dropping
93:16
into a state of being and just allowing
93:20
everything to be noticing birds flying
93:26
past people walking and let’s say
93:28
there’s not much thinking happening we
93:31
might think that okay now it is just
93:33
awareness but the fact is that awareness
93:36
and the intellect are never independent
93:39
they’re never not together so even just
93:43
if we’re sitting back not labeling or
93:45
just what we become aware of is the
93:49
awareness function that which is aware
93:52
and in a particular period of time there
93:56
might not be a lot of thinking and so we
93:57
think that now we’re free of you know
93:59
there’s just awareness but the Faculty
94:03
of the human being
94:06
includes the intellect all the time it’s
94:10
always there ready to work if it needs
94:13
to and so in a lot of situations where
94:17
just there’s just awareness I am about
94:20
to contradict myself it’s not just the
94:22
way it feels like there’s just awareness
94:23
intellect is still there and it’s
94:25
functioning on a very subtle level in a
94:28
way we don’t realize and then when we
94:31
realize something we have an insight we
94:34
might think the insight is awareness is
94:37
insight the insight is actually part of
94:40
the human intellect certain insights
94:44
feel very different from the functioning
94:47
of the human intellect that’s why often
94:49
when there is an insight we say it has
94:51
nothing to do with the intellect because
94:53
it doesn’t feel like it does because
94:55
it’s the culmination of a whole lot of
94:59
thinking and the intellect working ahead
95:04
of time like on a certain topic and then
95:08
a certain point it’s like it all falls
95:09
into place and we see it it’s like I see
95:17
it and it doesn’t in a way it feels
95:22
qualitatively different almost as though
95:25
it’s not it’s not the conscious thinking
95:27
but it’s still to me a form of intellect
95:31
you can’t have that insight that just
95:35
sees free of intellect
95:41
say so so the internet is is also
95:44
something that there’s like a it’s
95:46
changing so the quality of change so
95:50
there is also a sense of quality maybe
95:53
it’s a sense list of quality that is
95:56
unchanging life during the time you say
95:59
there is there’s nothing around the
96:00
corner but my state of being in a sense
96:07
my state of being in a sense will not
96:10
change this is the only thing that
96:11
doesn’t change so in a sense I feel
96:16
personally that it’s it’s a sense of
96:17
control over like other of the reality
96:20
because the sense of being is in a sense
96:23
detached from circumstances and then you
96:27
can be in control of your state of being
96:29
by knowing that you have control over
96:32
your attitude and your state of being I
96:36
mean you are generating your reality or
96:38
generating consciousness is generating
96:41
generated through you
96:42
even without saying conditioning in
96:46
genetics it’s rocket now momentarily
96:48
reality is being generated through me so
96:51
it’s military is responsible for how I
96:53
feel like regardless circumstances in a
96:56
sense so in a sense I do have control
96:59
that’s my that’s my feeling so we have
97:04
this in the experience there is a
97:07
feeling of free will um and that feeling
97:11
of free will is a gift because when we
97:14
talk about I’m not the doer and
97:16
everything is a happening in the machine
97:19
we might overlook the fact that there is
97:23
a feeling of freewill in the moment that
97:25
makes it feel like I am the thinker and
97:27
I am the one doing this and that’s a
97:30
great component in the experience if
97:33
that was taken out we would feel like a
97:36
puppet at the end of the string or a
97:39
slave and so I think what you’re
97:42
referring to is we have the feeling that
97:44
I am the one that can choose my attitude
97:47
especially once the wiring has gone
97:51
towards that say the attitude of
97:54
nandu ership where that’s understood and
97:57
you can just drop into being it feels
97:59
like I choose to drop into being rather
98:05
than get involved in psychologically but
98:09
actually it’s a happening based on the
98:12
fact that that new channel has opened up
98:16
and until it opened up you didn’t have
98:19
that capacity then life opened it up and
98:23
then that’s what gets chosen because
98:27
it’s more optimal so as we see it’s more
98:29
optimal it gets chosen more and more
98:31
quickly and frequently and so ultimately
98:35
we it’s a precious feeling of free will
98:39
that remains but we have to see deeper
98:43
down that until that channel opened up I
98:46
couldn’t have chosen to go there it’s a
98:55
paradox the paradox is important is I I
98:59
am the doer on one level well who else
99:02
is the doer you know I’m the body and
99:06
not only the body I am the person which
99:09
includes the body and the consciousness
99:11
so on the one hand I have to say yes I
99:14
am the one performing the tasks but I
99:19
also have a deep deeper understanding
99:22
that says but I I can only perform the
99:24
tasks to the capacity of my body mind
99:28
organism and so even our attitude so in
99:32
certain teachings at one at the earlier
99:35
point we’ll say the teaching will say
99:38
you’re not in control of your
99:40
circumstance but you are in control of
99:42
your attitude to the circumstance and
99:44
the reason it says that is to create a
99:46
conceptual distinction between
99:48
circumstance and your attitude which at
99:51
first are interwoven and we have no
99:54
sense that there is circumstance and
99:57
your attitude to circumstance so it says
99:58
circumstance you’re not in control of
100:00
but your attitude you are in control of
100:03
later on in the teaching it will say
100:06
even your attitude
100:08
is not in your control yes it’s a
100:14
happening that we understand is a
100:16
happening so we don’t claim ownership we
100:18
don’t become proud and say you know I
100:21
choose to be accepting why don’t you
100:25
choose it I choose it you should we
100:28
understand
100:29
I became shaped by life to be able to
100:32
choose it and we can be grateful and
100:35
then when someone else is struggling and
100:38
not choosing that path we have empathy
100:40
because we realize out there I was I was
100:42
them at some point I was shaped by life
100:45
to not be able to choose that option of
100:49
dropping into being and so then we don’t
100:54
judge them you know the alcoholic that
100:57
found sobriety and then looks at the
101:00
other alcoholics and say why don’t you
101:02
do it you know you loser
101:04
it just was the you know for for ten
101:07
years he was you know in that position
101:10
and then at some point something changed
101:13
and he was able to choose something
101:15
different why didn’t he choose it after
101:17
one year instead of ten years because he
101:19
wasn’t the doer
101:19
it happened at a certain point in time
101:40
as the thinking mind gets interrupted
101:45
and at first that’s what happens is the
101:49
working mind interrupts the thinking
101:51
mind and sometimes the working mind
101:54
doesn’t have the capacity to cut the
101:57
thinking mind off and so the next best
102:00
thing is there is just a witnessing of
102:02
the thinking mind happening the
102:05
suffering happening um in time the
102:09
working mind cuts off the thinking mind
102:11
it starts cutting it off quicker and
102:12
quicker and quicker and cutting off
102:14
basically means silence until eventually
102:24
even the working mind cutting it off
102:27
doesn’t need to happen and so we find
102:30
ourselves still functioning walking
102:31
through life doing what we need to do
102:34
ordering food correcting someone if the
102:38
order comes acceptance doesn’t mean you
102:40
know you ordered pizza and you got salad
102:42
then you just accept and do nothing it
102:46
means you accept that in the moment this
102:48
is the outcome and then you do whatever
102:50
you can to improve the situation knowing
102:54
that the outcomes not in your control so
102:56
you can ask the way to excuse me I
102:58
ordered pizza I got salad so no blame in
103:05
the sense like of Dewar’s sure it’s an
103:10
understanding that this is the flow of
103:11
life flow of life is pleasure sometimes
103:13
pain and others and so this is pain
103:15
let’s say as so you but acceptance
103:20
doesn’t mean not trying to fix it so
103:24
when the thinking mind isn’t there
103:28
anymore what we have is a lot of silence
103:31
and that’s why I started off at the
103:33
beginning of the talk saying this really
103:35
is about silence but we’re not designed
103:39
to be silent and so there needs to be a
103:43
lot of descriptions in the satsang given
103:45
and hopefully those descriptions have
103:48
started to become part of your
103:50
up-to-date-conditioning
103:52
and even if one of the significant
103:55
things like for example the description
103:58
that says the flow of life has always
104:01
been and always will be a mixture of
104:04
pleasure and pain sometimes pleasure
104:06
sometimes pain and that is the nature of
104:10
the flow of life if just that one thing
104:14
sinks in then it makes sense that you
104:17
might find yourself walking through the
104:20
street a taxi comes up or truck comes up
104:23
behind you and honks the horn really
104:25
loud pain in the moment and the thinking
104:29
mind might kick in and then the working
104:33
minds is actually the flow of life is
104:36
always pleasure sometimes pain at others
104:38
and this is a moment when pain was
104:42
delivered so that’s why the talking is
104:47
here to hopefully embed new conditioning
104:51
that then becomes a useful tool that
104:55
functions automatically so you don’t
104:57
have a job to do when you leave there’s
104:59
no you know heavy homework it will
105:03
happen automatically based on the genes
105:07
and up-to-date-conditioning which
105:08
includes the up-to-date king the
105:11
conditioning includes the content of
105:13
this discussion let’s talk can you say
105:18
that they’re walking mind is a kind of a
105:20
voice that represents what is yes
105:23
without the personal agenda of gaining
105:25
or losing exactly and the working mind
105:29
also knows that when it describes what
105:33
is it’s only doing it in a sort of
105:36
accurate like accurate to some extent it
105:40
knows that the mark the working mind can
105:43
never really know what is it can you
105:47
know we if we think about an orange
105:49
you’re not actually creating the orange
105:51
so the working mind also knows its
105:53
limitation the limitation of thought I
105:55
think what the objective yes yeah but I
106:00
would say that in command in context of
106:04
spiritual seeking because the working
106:05
mind
106:06
works in all sorts of ways so when
106:09
you’re doing mathematics calculations or
106:11
deciding which product to buy in the
106:15
shop and reading the ingredients that’s
106:17
all the functioning of the working mind
106:18
it’s a functional mind what time do I
106:22
need to call the taxi to get to the
106:23
airport on time in relation to spiritual
106:27
seeking and this investigation what you
106:30
said I really like is that it’s the
106:32
working mind is simply describing for
106:37
the sake of cutting off the thinking
106:41
mind what is so seeing life more
106:44
accurately
106:55
thank you

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