Letters to Tessa, to Life
Your mother doesn’t seem to believe me anymore, but when I met her the first time, some 9 years ago, I experienced Love, I was immediately hooked.
It was in Mid-Valley at the Massage School. I came to meet Charlotte — my former teacher. Her class was over, and I was kneeling at the floor, fiddling with my backpack.
Charlotte approached me, and said “I have someone I want you to meet.”
It was so amazing, impossible to describe; I was still occupied with my backpack on the floor, had my back turned towards Charlotte and Beth.
I didn’t yet see Beth, but I just heard her voice. Whatever she said… I don’t remember exactly right now. Maybe just a simple “Hello”?
It was indescribably amazing; her voice touched me so deeply inside, in the most wonderful way, in a fraction of a second; no time to think.
Dear Tessa, I don’t really know what I am doing here with my writing, but it is very important. I am not leaving out Beth, but by not directly mentioning her I give her some space.
We all need space. Inner-Space to connect with what is real, beyond our values and expectations.
Love is real, but we are so busy with our person in “this world” that we overlook the most precious.
Oh foolish mind, how you are always busy being busy.
It is such a challenge for me to write… to be open, to not sink into thinking.
“Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens”
Don’t just read Bible quotes and use them like a pain-killer, to escape into your little comfort-zone; but learn and do the work of understanding and relating the Bible to yourself… “Girls just wanna have fun…” what is heaven? What does it mean to lift up your eyes… figure it out, try it out, seek, knock, ask…
The Bible appears to be a story outside in “this world” but if you can allow it, it is like a counselor hinting you at what to do/be within: heaven is your own inner-space, the vastness in which the whole world appears; in you! Allow yourself to be playful like a little child; our Father, God, loves you and delights that you examine yourself; he enjoys that you explore and enjoy his greatest gifts: mind and speech. Be creative! Feel all the subtle differences, i.e. between pretending, assuming and knowing. You only want to know the Truth; don’t waste your time pleasing people if the love is missing.
Sorry Tessa, I don’t mean to confuse you or distract you.
Our time is so precious.
I felt so much pain in my own life, so much discomfort, so much unhappiness, fear and awkwardness in my own skin; we all do, but we cope with it in so many different ways.
Oh, I have so much I want to say, where to start?
Life is amazing, it is so beyond what we can put into words.
My dear child, my own, I don’t need to explain my tears but I can finally allow them.
It doesn’t matter if we call it tears of joy or tears of sorrow and pain. What is important is that we are open, and allow Life to flow.
Our suffering in life has to do only with our attitude, not the circumstances. Fulfillment in life is not in feeling happy all the time, but in discerning what our person tells us and what Love IS.
Where and how does God/Life/Love teach you?
Most intimately in your own heart and mind; we all have the capacity to intuitively understand what our innermost Self wants to show us.
Language is funny.
When I say “innermost Self” I don’t mean that there is “another” somewhere in you; I just refer to the depth of your own being.
There is more to us than we believe and admit as person in “this world”.
As we grow into “this world” we tend to get too serious with all our seeming feelings, understandings and good intentions.
We get stuck in our own stories and slowly replace Life and Love with thinking about it.
God IS Love, it says in the Bible.
Love is real, Love is the key to everything you ever need or want in Life.
Love is not a feeling, Love is not a thing, Love IS not anywhere to be found in “this world”.
Without Love you couldn’t breath, see, taste, touch, hear, smell, think…
What is it?
That’s why you exist, that’s why you are here!
We cannot force Love, but we can allow Love to show us what is real and what is just beliefs and assumptions in our own mind.
Oh sweet girl…
It is so precious that you are still so open and unburdened by your own beliefs.
So much is happening in you, so much growing and trying to make sense in “this world”.
Don’t become slothful in your learning, in your curiosity!
Growing up into “this world” we become lazy and accept words without even asking anymore what they mean.
You are learning so many words every day, you see and hear so much, that there seems to be so little opportunity to reflect and keep your inner temple clean.
Don’t be satisfied with answers alone! “Making sense” and being influenced belong to “this world”. Just because someone big stands in front of you and tells you something impressive, doesn’t mean that he or she really knows what they are talking about. And even if they know a “thing” they do not know what God has intended for you to experience, this very moment.
Darkness and ignorance has the tendency to defend itself. Learn to be comfortable with “I don’t know” instead to lie or pretend in “this world”. You are never alone, when love beats your heart.
Speak up, say no and thank you according to your own moment in time. Be respectful, be gentle; know that in Truth, in Love, we are all family; yet from the perspective of “this world” we do many foolish things… only because we have forgotten who and what we are.
No matter how people, look or behave, do not lose touch with Love, your innermost being.
Love is not a feeling that comes and goes; it is always here, but we get distracted by our own minds. I know that it won’t take you 52 years to discover this!
The Bible is full of amazing precious and important things.
But most of the time in “this world” we are addicted to “doing” and do not know how to “be” with what is being shared.
We hear words, but we so seldom take the time to examine our own believes, to see if we really know what the words actually stand for.
Words are like traffic signs, for our attention/light to follow.
Please make sure to always allow some inner-space between your words, your thoughts, to leave the nets or nest of “this world” and feel the Presence of God in your own way.
Take the Bible to heart, relate it to yourself; assume that it is written only for you, which it is.
The word God is not God.
God is not anyone or anything you can think of or figure out in your brain, God is not “another” in “this world”.
You can be in the Presence of God… but if you have a mental picture presenting God… that’s an idol, a statue, even if it is hidden in your own private thinking.
God is Love, vast, unfathomable.
When we look at life through the eyes of our person everything gets a little dull and much more complicated.
Our time in this body is limited, and one day we will be seemingly separated; I say seemingly, because we are not two.
If I say “I am my car” then this is stupid and foolish; saying “I am my body” is the source of our human suffering.
My child, you can believe anything you want, but God cannot be mocked.
In “this world” we dream and suffer.
“My kingdom” is not a fantasy-world, it IS always here and now.
Adults are stuck in “ya but” and “and then”; we miss the fullness of what IS.
I am sorry if my words don’t make sense to you right now, but take them to heart.
In “this world” we waste so much time with fighting and resenting each other, and what IS.
If those would be my last words to you, precious girl, what do I say that would ease the pain and confusion of “this world”:
Life is a gift, people are ridiculous…
know the words you are using! Don’t just pay lip-service.
Don’t be satisfied with explanations, but look for your Self; experience, discover first-hand who you are and what you are.
Our own person is so little and ridiculos; it judges what it sees based on assumptions and beliefs.
Assumptions and beliefs are powerful tools to make sense in “this world”, to make all of this happen; good, bad and indifferent; however you like to look at it.
Read the Bible, study it! It has all the answers you ever need.
But be wise to not listen to the counsel of your own ignorance, but embrace the Lord — the absence of your person.
Use any Truth-teaching that resonates in you; I am just seemingly fixed on the Bible because of your mother; the Truth is universal, no matter what cultural background, no matter what skin color…
Be open, follow Jesus’ teaching.
Once you see it, it is so utterly simple, but it took me 52 years to relate it to myself!
Be rooted in Love.
Do not be intimidated by your own fears and doubts; do not be intimidated by anything that appears in front of you; including your own feelings and thoughts!
Discover the current trap of humanity; discover why people suffer; discover that you can believe whatever you want, discover your own selfishness and ignorance.
Discover what IS.
The Bible is only written for you, to be free!
Just by the gift of knowing God/Love/Life.
Your freedom and fulfillment is not in a book printed in “this world”, but in knowing the Truth and entering “my kingdom”, always here and now.
Don’t discuss this with the world, but always be vigilant when you discover resentment outside, or in yourself!
Truth is that which never changes.
Please, please, don’t just believe and hope!
Don’t just wait for the world to change on the outside;
Know the Truth! …and the Truth will set you free; embrace Jesus’ unbelievable teaching of forgiveness, and really find out what he is telling you, always here and now.
Mr. Jesus is so amazing when you see and embrace the depth of “have that mind which was also in Christ Jesus”.
“Truth is simple, but the seeker is complex”.
The whole thing is so simple!
Don’t burden yourself with studying the Bible as an academic chore, but believe me that all you ever need is already present and available; not in a book, but with the help of a book, the spirit of a friend.
Learn and intuit what the words mean!
Value them higher than your little understanding.
In “this world” we believe that I am this body and that I will die.
In “my kingdom” we know that I AM the Light.
Both, “this world” and “my kingdom” are on Earth, always here and now.
Don’t believe me, but discover!
Now we see but a dim reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13
Please don’t rush over scripture; don’t rattle the words in your head, but be open and receptive… feel the words rather than trying to make sense.
Don’t get stuck in fixed ideas or fleeting feelings, but see that whatever Jesus teaches becomes your own experience.
What is the saying: you can bring a donkey to the water, but you cannot make it drink.
The water, the gift of Life is in front of you!
Maybe you cannot help to be stubborn like a donkey, but start by being aware of your own Awareness.
In “this world” we look out at multiplicity and diversity.
In “my kingdom” we rest at the feet of our Father, here and now.
You cannot explain this.
Thank you for the gift of your Presence, your openness, the Light that you are.
Your Dad is not dead yet!
I’d love to talk more with your mother, feel her openness, look into her eyes, to have a moment without thinking, but present.
I want to feel challenged by her questions about the Bible, I want to look together with her, to discover how it translates to our here and now; beyond the mask of our person.
I cannot just believe and pretend, I want to know, feel and understand!
What is the barrier in our person, what is the veil that hides the Light…
it’s only beliefs and assumptions we defend.
The Truth just IS, it doesn’t need to hide or protect itself.
Love is higher than fear, doubt and limitations.
Have your own Eureka moments:
“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus”
Allow a little humor, otherwise you might miss the mark, and wait until doomsday.
You can have only one mind, you cannot keep your old wo/man and be born from above.
You need to choose, to be brave, willing to even give your own seeming life for Truth.
I just looked up “doomsday”… “the last day of the world’s existence”!
“This world” is God’s wonderful eternal creation seen and judged by fleshly eyes.
“My kingdom” is walking this wonderful Earth in the Presence of God.
The ideas of physical body and death, pre-human existence, sin, death, disease, lack… all of that is real only in “this world”.
What a painful joke until we sincerely and relentlessly explore Philippians 2:5
“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus”.
In our person we are in darkness, but I AM the Light… go find out, feel, examine yourself, test and see… “in him we live and move and have our being.”
Ooops… sorry I got seemingly distracted (-;
The way is straight is narrow, our attention span might be short.
Interesting how quickly things can become gloomy and sticky inside of us…
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God.↩
“If you tell the Truth you don’t have to remember anything.”↩